I’ll start with saying I had a fairly decent weekend, I did nothing, went nowhere as usual, but, over all it was pleasant. I even ventured into the kitchen and made some home made caramel fudge. Melts in your mouth, bad, bad bad for your teeth. As for getting fat, I could do with some Kgs put on me. bring it on!! lol
Today how ever is a slow day, I’m feeling a little lost for some reason. Might be the fact I didn’t sleep well last night /yesterday / this morning (they all lead into each other), maybe not eating right is catching up again too, I’ve been eating 1 -2 cooked meals per week for awhile now.
I also missed another network app. So glad my case worker there is understanding.. I was on the phone with him today for around 1/2 hour, he seems to know about depression, bi polar a fair bit. It definitely helps. I’m slowly accepting the fact that I need to be open and honest with myself for people to understand and accept me for me.
In my years growing up, I could not talk to anyone about any issues, problems troubling me, I hid them, all because I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak or wasn’t “man” enough (when I was around 13yo, one of my uncles pulled me aside and told me I have to be the “man of the house” now my father’s left. I was taught “real men don’t cry”… I tried taking on that “man” roll, as well as a 13yo could. People judged me, said I was arrogant, rude or simply a prick. I guess it’s how I came across, I still do today to some I guess. I was well and truly lost in my teens, a young boy, trying to be a man. Ironic thing is, I never learned how to be a amn” in the end anyway.
I can’t recall much of my teen years, as much as I try, it’s like a scattered jigsaw puzzle dropped on the floor, when I try and put it together, I can see bits and pieces, but, not the whole picture. There seems to be a lot of pieces missing from the box too.
Anyway, that’s enough dribble from me, for now. I can just go on and on when I’m in this mood. lol.
As always, take it easy!