Melbourne Cup 2012, Who will you be tipping this year?

Melbourne Cup Day. Tue 6 nov 2012, Place Your Bets!

Melbourne Cup Day is just around the corner for 2012. Australia’s number one horse racing event held on the first Tuesday of November. Also known as“the race that stops the nation”.

Have an advantage this year and get yourself some Australian horse racing tips and ratings from a professional punter before hitting the tracks!

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Accessed via email, SMS our members section.
A brief commentary explaining the reasoning behind our selection.
Minimum value odds and exact amount to bet.
Main danger/possible Quinella bet.
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Daily, weekend and monthly packages available for punters who want to go from losing to winning. Champion Picks Professional. Profitable. Guaranteed.

A Swanky Halloween Party – Jokes and Humor

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain and as it was still early, she decided to go the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, “Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.” Then she asked, “Did you dance much?”

He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.

But you’re not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to…”

Mr. and Mrs. Whale – Dirty Jokes

beluga whale

Mr. and Mrs. Whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. Mr. Whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to his wife, “Let’s swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.”

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.

Mr. Whale was enraged that they were going to get away and told his wife, “Let’s swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.” At this point, he realized that she was becoming reluctant to follow him.”Look,” she said, “I went along with the blowjob, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!
 

Important lessons in life – Get your feelings out and you will feel better for it.

I want to talk about an important lesson I have learned on my travels in life. It’s the simple fact of talking about problems you’re facing. Be them big, or so minor that it just niggles at you, talking about problems is an important part of our self-worth. To be heard.

While growing up, I was taught that “boys” are tough and problems are kept to ourselves. If something was said, we were told to “grow some balls” or “be a man” and get over it. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. It’s never worked that way. If something is bothering you, you really need to talk to someone about it.

Starting this blog and being open-minded with my problems has helped me in a massive way. It has given me an outlet for things that are or have bothered me for some time. A lot my posts are of me rambling, letting off steam so to speak. But simply getting it out in the open has helped me come to terms with who I am and has helped with my self-worth. Whether anyone really reads it or not, it’ has helped me just talking about it.

So my lesson in life that I would like to share is: Always try to talk about your problems.whether it’s with a friend, a parent (yeah right, lol), talk to the person causing the issue can help (often we don’t know, if we’re not told). A complete stranger sometimes helps too or somewhere in cyberspace completely anonymous, the Internet has made things easier in that respect.. Just get your feelings out and you will feel better for it in the long run. The kind people at the Life Line centres are always there to listen. When you hold in those bad feelings for long enough, it really messes with your mind. I can assure you that.

Anyway, that’s enough rambling for now, have a fantastic weekend guys. Good luck at the Melbourne Races! (remember, sharing is caring 😀 )

Dazz. 

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Human Vs Zombie – New Rage Banned in local park by Glen Eira council in Melbourne, Australia.

There’s no respect for the dead, err,  undead when it comes to the City council of Glen Eira. Humans Vs Zombies has been banned in local parks.

This is the council that stopped kids playing frisbee in the local parks and gardens without a permit! a permit to play? how ridiculous!

If anything I would be encouraging them, not because they’re dressing up as freaky monsters running around as the undead (that I happily kill in the game world of Warcraft),  but the simple fact that these kids and young adults are actually getting off their arse and getting out in the open. Running around like that would be awesome exercise, not to mention social advantages, including self-esteem.

How many kids do you know that are willing to run around the park for a couple of hours? not many I bet…

I think it would have been awesome in my younger years, what am I saying, I reckon it would be fun now. Imagine the faces on people as a group of zombies run past. I’d pay for that. lol.

I really hope these guys get justice.

Contact the City of Glen Eira council and let them know your view on the subject.

Cnr Glen Eira & Hawthorn Rds  Caulfield VIC 3162 (03) 9524 3333



Here’s a little news write up I came across after seeing the morning news.

This is bureaucracy at work – your bureaucracy. This of this as we head into council elections.

A Melbourne council has taken a stand against Zombies, the walking dead.

They are popular are popular these days. We have Zombie parades, Zombie parties, and a bunch of people have a Zombie game.

They get kids, dress some as Zombies, some as humans, and then they play tag in the park.

They run around chasing each other, and if you get tagged – you are a Zombie.

It’s called ‘Humans vs Zombies’ and, they’ve been banned.

The recreation support officer at the City of Glen Eira has said: “Our parks within Glen Eira are not suitable for the type of event you are proposing to organise.”

However Cr Michael Lipshutz insists this was not a refusal: “They may think that it was a refusal, and I accept that but it was not a refusal.”

LISTEN: Cr Michael Lipshutz speaks with Neil Mitchell

“I’ll accept that the wording was unfortunate, but the reality is that they have not been banned, and if they wanted to play in our parks, they’d be welcome to.”

This is the same lot that banned Frisbee throwing without a fee. And now, Zombie games. What is this, a campaign against Zombies? A campaign against kids? A campaign to cut back exercise for kids?

This is so much nonsense. Are they worried dogs will be frightened by Zombies?

There’s a prejudice here. It looks like a prejudice against the undead.

So, the elections are coming up. Vote One Zombie!

LISTEN: Neil Mitchell speaks with ‘Sue’, a mother of a human, and Anthony Osborne, Secretary of Humans vs Zombies Victoria: Sorce 3AW News Talk

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Halloween in Australia – it’s here to stay.. Just ask the sugar rushing goblins knocking at your door!!

It looks like Halloween has a foot hold in Australia. I’ve notice it becoming more celebrated in the land “Down-Under” with each year that passes. The only thing we knew of Halloween growing up was the American shows on TV  back in the ’70’s and ’80’s.

When I see the kiddies dressed up in the Halloween costumes running around like little loony’s in a psych ward, powered by sugar rushes like the apocalypse has come. I often wondered if they actually know what they’re celebrating or is just the free lollies they score off complete strangers. lol. I’m guessing the later.


Either way, it looks like Halloween’s here to stay in the land Down-Under, so I thought I’d get in the mood and add a little Halloween touch to DirtyDazz.com. What do ya think? huh, huh? Graphics created by LaicieDesigns

I’ve also had a look around to see what’s out and about this year in Aus’ to help celebrate  Halloween and came across some fantastic deals to help get in the spirit.

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Check these out.

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I’ll add more as I remember what they were. lol

Cheers, Dazz.

Banana Malted Milkshakes With Horlicks – Yummo, Somewhat Healthy And May Help You Sleep!

I first made this Horlicks banana malted milkshake around a year ago and have been hooked on it ever since. I’m not sure if there’s a Horlicks Banana milkshake “recipe” already out there in cyberland. It’s so damn yummy it’s a crime not to share and it’s semi good for you too!!.. (well, I keep telling myself that anyway).

This is how I make mine, though it can be varied to your own liking of course.

Banana (Horlicks) Malted Milkshake / Thick Shake.

  • 1 x ripe banana (natures sleeping pill, it’s true!)
  • 3-4 scoops of vanilla ice cream (yes I like mine thick)
  • 2-3 heaped teaspoons of Horlicks (adds the malt flavour and helps to promote sleep)
  • about 1 cup of Milk (whatever type you want, full-cream is best for taste)
  • Yummy experimental alternatives – A tsp of honey (also a sleep promoter), a couple of strawberries for a nice kick .

Break up your Banana and chuck everything into your whiz cup thingy that came with your whiz stick (or blender) and whiz away ’till it’s looking smooth, thick and creamy. Just like a Maccas thick shake, only healthy.. well, not quite. Hehe. Enjoy!

I’ve also tried other combinations, such as Banana and Mango, Mango and Strawberries, Blue Berries give it a nice tarty taste, almost like a yogurt drink, nice, but a required taste. Chocolate topping with banana is yummo!. and last, but not least.. wait for it….. drum rolls please…  Horlicks with Milk!  Yes it’s yummy all on it’s own..

There’s no limit to what different fruit or anything really, what ever takes your fancy at the time. Just remember to add your Horlicks for that malty flavour we all loved in our childhood.

If you discover any awesomely unusual combinations, please feel free to drop us a message below and claim your stake to fame..

Cheers, Dazz.



Google Adsense – Might want to avoid them. My 5-cents worth, or was that $98.00?

I’ve had a couple of experiences with Google Adsense, both disappointing to say the least

“All it takes is a disgruntled visitor to your site to click multi Google Adsense advertisements, then BAM your account is gone!”

When I opened my 1st account several years ago, they accepted my site and implementation took place. I admittedly did not put a lot of effort into the site and let it go when the domain expired, I did how ever accumulate a few bucks in my adsense account..

When I first designed DirtyDazz.com and put it online, I tried accessing my old Google adsense sccount, to no avail. The account had been closed with out any notice. Ok, I can accept that as it was not used for 6-7 years and only around $30 in the account. But still….

So I opened another adsense account and DirtyDazz.com was accepted. I placed all advertisements in place and all ran good for around 4 months, I had accumulated around Au$98.00 in my account and was pretty happy with the out come. Then I tried to log into that account a couple of months ago to find it had been cancelled due to “invalid clicks” the reason given. In other words, someone had clicked on the google adsense advertisements on my site  that were not meant to? Adsense will not discuss this. So I can only assume..

I contacted Google adsense to find out why my account had been cancelled, I mean, I knew “why” I just wanted confirmation and maybe some evidence of this.  All I got back was a template pre-typed response claiming that my account had been cancelled due to invalid clicks and I can not open another account. WTF. This is just wrong. Because someone has come to my website and clicked on a few advertisements I get done for it..

They will not show me proof, they will not reveal what had been clicked or when, I can not access my account stats to find what had been clicked or any information about my Google adsense account at all. It’s dodgy “customer support” to say the least.

So the way I see it, all it really takes is a disgruntled visitor to come to your site to click multiple  advertisements and whammo!  your account is gone, earnings are gone and there’s nothing you can do about it. Google Adsense see YOU as the bad guy.

Did I mention it’s so damn frustrating trying to get in contact with their “customer support”?. Good luck there. lol

They claim that all earnings will go back to the rightful advertiser. I’d really like to see the proof in that. I would also like to know since my adsense account had been running for 4 months plus, what happened to my legit earnings?.

Another thing that came from my account being cancelled was the drop in Google search hits. My eStore-au site went from around 500 – 600 hit per week down to 20-30 from that same day. Coincidence? I think not. I will be focusing on more realistic search engines from now.

So my advise is to be careful if you’re thinking of applying for a Google Adsense account. Unless you’re a large established company with some weight behind your name, I would avoid Google adsense.. The risks of you having your account randomly closed are quite high, like so many others before me. Just Google it (ironic hey).

Lets face it, their morals are not all that high when it comes to us common folk. I can see into my backyard (over my back fence) on Google maps.. They were not given permission to take a photo of my house by us, let alone in to my backyard. Where’s the privacy in that?

Whilst on the topic though, I’ve found Valueclick Media. and Chitika decent adsense replacements. In fact, the customization of the ad layouts are far superior to most Publisher revenue makers that I’ve tested out. If it wasn’t for adsense’s monopoly in the advertising market. I’m sure Valueclick Media. would be first choice for publishers and advertisers alike. Their ad servers are so fast!.

This post is solely my opinion from personal experiences with Adsense Google..

My 5-cents worth, or was that $98 worth… hmm

Dazz.

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George the mail man’s last day on the job – Dirty Jokes

George the Mail Man’s last day, no wonder he looks happy.

It was George the mail man’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.
“All of this was just too wonderful for words.”He said, “But what’s the dollar for”?”Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, “Screw him. Give him a dollar.” “The breakfast was my idea!!”……
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