The Vicious Cycle of Me

Lost in time

Lost in time

I often sit here wondering why I’m still sitting here, wondering.. I go over and over this list in my mind whereas I want to progress in life.

1, Do I want to progress past this point in life? Yes.

2, Do you know what you need to do to progress past this point? Yes.

3, Do you enjoy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself? No!.

4, Do you have the required skills to progress past this point in life? Yes. I think so.

5, Then why haven’t you progressed this point in life? I’m scared.

6, What’s there to be scared of? Changing into someone I don’t like.

7, But you don’t like yourself right now? not really.

Then Please return to question 1.

I feel like I’m stuck in a loophole, sometimes.


Cheers, Dazz.



Amazing Lightning strike meters away Silkstone, Ipswich, Queensland, Australia. 29/12/2013

lightning queenslandAmazing footage of Lightning striking a tree meters away from where they were standing. Caught on camera (at 25 frames per seconds). At Silkstone, Ipswich, Queensland, Australia. 29/12/2013. Watch for the 2nd strike.

I received a message in my inbox today: A True Human being.

I am going through a rough patch in life at the moment and someone happened to come across a post that I was having trouble in. This is the message I received from that person. It’s written from the heart and a great inspirational read.

It definitely touched my soul and gave me hope, It inspired me that much I ask her if I can share it … You’re a beautiful human being, Nicky Clarke. Thank you.

Hi I just stumbled across your spat on fb and was curious enough to have a looknatnyour website – it seems to me that this relationship, without apportioning blame, was breaking down … I’ve suffered betrayals like this in my life, what I’ve learned is that you clearly need to be on your own for a while, you need to find your centre, and some psychological balance and equilibrium, and some inner strength, and that can only be done when you’re not in a relationship. We attract others to us who are damaged and hurting too, so it will not be the successful trusting mature nurturing relationship your soul needs. You have to become the person who you want to attract, therefore use this time to search and learn and find your balance and when the time is right you will find that same thing in another soul. If you keep returning to this or other damaging relationships, all to avoid being alone, you won’t learn anything. This I’m telling you from personal experience. I’ve had a few Christmases alone. And I mean where not a soul even my own family contacted me. I’ve spent a couple of New Years Eve’s alone. So I know what I’m talking about. I hope you can find the right meaning in my comments I hope it resonates with you. I’d also look at nutrition for depression, extra magnesium and vitamin B and good regular food, drop the booze for a while if you drink and if you’re on anti depressants I’d look at weaning yourself off them, they are the worst thing for you, although many may throw their hands up in horror to read that. Ant depressants keep you depressed off balance and emotionally numb, even if it takes a year, try to to have them, food should be medicine, food fresh air excercis meditation, nature and doing good things. And from one person who at one point was beggin to be admitted to the loony bin, it’s again from personal experience.. On the surface I was attractive successful , articulate intelligent so nobody could understand why I was apparently suicidal, but I was given all these crap things in life to learn lessons, and looking back I’m glad for going through some horrible shit…. Anyway, it’s a new year soon, a fresh start I hope my words help. X

  • Nicky Clarke

Do You Ever Get The Urge To Just Run: Not A Merry Christmas

I’ve been asked a few times now, “how was your Christmas?”. I just smiled and replied with, “yeah, quiet”, I didn’t want to bring them down with the fact that it is one of the saddest, loneliest Christmas’s I’ve had for a long time.

I’m not sure if I feel betrayed, belittled or just coping with a broken heart. My partner of 8 years was invited to go away for Christmas, to spend it with her Daughter, her Daughters father and his partner at their house in WA. They live on the other side of Australia to us and they asked her to stay from the 20th Dec until the new year, without even considering me. I tried expressing how wrong that was of them to my partner, only to be told I’m being paranoid and selfish. That was from my partner of 8 years, I expected a little more loyalty than that. I thought we were family. She refuses to give me the number or address she’s staying, her mobile has a new number which she forgot to give me… They even asked her to move their last year. WTF!!.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon she is seeing her daughter for Christmas, but it was the way it was done. I am not acknowledged at all in this relationship. I feel let down in a big way. Another thing was, on my partners FB, I was chatting in a post of hers to randomly get a message on that post from her ex’s partner asking if she’s looking forward to a fantastic Christmas. and again, didn’t even acknowledge me.. What was I doing for the last 8 years? I thought I was in a loving relationship, I thought she was my “queen”. Obviously I was only the joker in all this, it really hurts to feel let down in that way.

I don’t know if I have a right to feel this or if I’m just being selfish and insecure, but I do know it’s wrong, I’m hurting and very sad. I mean it’s Christmas ffs. I am obviously not fit for her family. With all the shit that’s been going on with me over the last 2 months, this is the last thing I need.

I need to get away, I need to go walkabout for awhile and find out what the hell I have been put on this earth for. There has to be something.  and it’s definitely not relationships…

Destination anywhere
East or west, I don’t care
You see my baby don’t want me no more
This old world ain’t got no back door

I hope you all had a better Christmas than I.

Cheers, Dazz.

All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

Well it’s been a couple of months since posting a personal blog entry, I have been down and out I guess.

As some of my readers know I’m battling with depression and anxiety disorders. Due to the depression, I was put on medication last year to try and “make me happy” again, which didn’t work at all. But what the medication did do was cause me to grind me teeth in my sleep. I would often wake up in the morning with a sore jaw and teeth, simply due to the immense pressure I put on them in my sleep.  Then one morning I was woken up by this immense pain, I had clenched my jaw that hard in my sleep I snapped 2 of my bottom front teeth at the roots. Now my teeth were not perfect, but I could at least fake a smile.

Around 2 months ago, I bit the bullet and went to the dentist to try to get these broken teeth fixed, but they couldn’t be saved. I ended up having  13 teeth removed over a period of 3 weeks, due to them being  broken at the roots and obviously left too long.

So now I don’t smile, even a fake smile is impossibly embarrassing, I just don’t smile anymore. I haven’t spoken to anyone in public since either. I’m just too embarrassed to even open my mouth in front of someone. My self-confidence went from 0 to -100 over night.

I miss my teeth, I did not realize how important they are in your mouth, not just for eating either. speech, biting nails, scraping your tongue with your teeth, biting your lip, biting anything!.. and smiling.. I just can’t smile anymore.. It’s a sad truth.

Look after your teeth people, you just don’t know how important they are until they’re gone.


A Must Watch Animation on Empathy: RSA Animate – The Empathic Civilisation

This is an amazing animated video on the progression on empathy through the evolution of man. We need to relearn our ways.

Jeremy Rifkin, a social thinker and best-selling author, walks us through the evolution of human empathy over the 30,000 years that have led up to the crucial tipping point we face today.

Bunnings Australia Job Application: 75yo Man Gets the Job!

austran old man job interview
This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to Bunnings in Burleigh Heads. They hired him because he was so funny….

Adam Landon Jones (Grumpy Bastard)

Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

Company’s Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying in the first place – would I?

$150,000 a year plus share options and a good redundancy package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.


Target for middle management hostility.

A lot less than I’m worth.

My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

It was a crap job.


1:30 – 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

If I had one, would I be here’?

Of what?

I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

I may already be a winner of the Reader’s Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

On the job – no! On my breaks – yes!

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

12 Kms

Oh yes. absolutely.


After landing my new job as a Bunnings “Greeter” – a goodfind for many retirees, I lasted less than a day . . . . .
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bogan babe walked into the store with her two kids,yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly,
“Good morning and welcome to Bunnings.”
I then said,”Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
“No, they ain’t effin twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7, why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just effin stupid?”

I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn’t believe someone shagged you twice…. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Bunnings.”

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

Should Marijuana Be Decriminalized in Australia? Cast Your Vote Now!

MarijuanaWelcome to the 21st century. With all the advancements in the human race, technology, advanced medicines and knowledge on human genetics, we are still pretty much in the dark ages when it comes to one of the worlds most natural remedies for quite a number of ailments, Marijuana.

It’s time to bring the world to the 21st century and decriminalize this natural remedy.

[poll id=”5″]

A young guy helps his girlfriend deal with feeling down. Produced for National Youth Week by Declan Kelly and the VCA students

marijuana head

Top 10 Benefits of Marijuana.

1. Cancer
Cannabinoids, the active components of marijuana, inhibit tumor growth in laboratory animals and also kill cancer cells. Western governments have known this for a long time yet they continued to suppress the information so that cannabis prohibition and the profits generated by the drug industry proliferated.

THC that targets cannabinoid receptors CB1 and CB2 is similar in function to endocannabinoids, which are cannabinoids that are naturally produced in the body and activate these receptors. The researchers suggest that THC or other designer agents that activate these receptors might be used in a targeted fashion to treat lung cancer.

2. Tourette’s Syndrome
Tourette’s syndrome is a neurological condition characterized by uncontrollable facial grimaces, tics, and involuntary grunts, snorts and shouts.

Dr. Kirsten Mueller-Vahl of the Hanover Medical College in Germany led a team that investigated the effects of chemicals called cannabinols in 12 adult Tourette’s patients. A single dose of the cannabinol produced a significant reduction in symptoms for several hours compared to placebo, the researchers reported.

3. Seizures
Marijuana is a muscle relaxant and has “antispasmodic” qualities that have proven to be a very effective treatment for seizures. There are actually countless cases of people suffering from seizures that have only been able to function better through the use of marijuana.

4. Migraines 
Since medicinal marijuana was legalized in California, doctors have reported that they have been able to treat more than 300,000 cases of migraines that conventional medicine couldn’t through marijuana.

5. Glaucoma 
Marijuana’s treatment of glaucoma has been one of the best documented. There isn’t a single valid study that exists that disproves marijuana’s very powerful and popular effects on glaucoma patients.

6. Multiple Sclerosis 
Marijuana’s effects on multiple sclerosis patients became better documented when former talk-show host, Montel Williams began to use pot to treat his MS. Marijuana works to stop the neurological effects and muscle spasms that come from the fatal disease.

7. ADD and ADHD 
A well documented USC study done about a year ago showed that marijuana is not only a perfect alternative for Ritalin but treats the disorder without any of the negative side effects of the pharmaceutical.

8. IBS and Crohn’s 
Marijuana has shown that it can help with symptoms of the chronic diseases as it stops nausea, abdominal pain, and diarrhea.

9. Alzheimer’s 
Despite what you may have heard about marijuana’s effects on the brain, the Scripps Institute, in 2006, proved that the THC found in marijuana works to prevent Alzheimer’s by blocking the deposits in the brain that cause the disease.

10. Premenstrual Syndrome 
Just like marijuana is used to treat IBS, it can be used to treat the cramps and discomfort that causes PMS symptoms. Using marijuana for PMS actually goes all the way back to Queen Victoria.

Mounting Evidence Suggests Raw Cannabis is Best

Cannabinoids can prevent cancer, reduce heart attacks by 66% and insulin dependent diabetes by 58%. Cannabis clinician Dr. William Courtney recommends drinking 4 – 8 ounces of raw flower and leaf juice from any Hemp plant, 5 mg of Cannabidiol (CBD) per kg of body weight, a salad of Hemp seed sprouts and 50 mg of THC taken in 5 daily doses.

Why raw? Heat destroys certain enzymes and nutrients in plants. Incorporating raw cannabis allows for a greater availability of those elements. Those who require large amounts of cannabinoids without the psychoactive effects need to look no further than raw cannabis. In this capacity, it can be used at 60 times more tolerance than if it were heated.
Raw cannabis is considered by many experts as a dietary essential. As a powerful anti-inflammatory and antioxidant, raw cannabis may be right u there with garlic and tumeric.

Marco Torres
 is a research specialist, writer and consumer advocate for healthy lifestyles. He holds degrees in Public Health and Environmental Science and is a professional speaker on topics such as disease prevention, environmental toxins and health policy.


No Independent Study Has Ever Linked Marijuana To Psychosocial Problems

Cannabis is one of the most powerful healing plants on the planet. Dozens of studies have made pseudoscientific attempts to indicate that young people who use cannabis tend to experience psychological, social problems and mental decline. However, there is no evidence that marijuana use is directly linked with such problems, according to the results of a study published in The Lancet.

“Currently, there is no strong evidence that use of cannabis of itself causes psychological or social problems,” such as mental illness or school failure, lead study author Dr. John Macleod of the University of Birmingham in the UK told Reuters Health.

“There is a great deal of evidence that cannabis use is associated with these things, but this association could have several explanations,” he said, citing factors such as adversity in early life, which may itself be associated with cannabis use and psychosocial problems.

Macleod and his team reviewed 48 long-term studies, 16 of which provided the highest quality information about the association between illicit drug use reported by people 25 years old or younger and later psychological or social problems. Most of the drug-specific results involved cannabis use.

Cannabis use was not consistently associated with violent or antisocial behavior, or with psychological problems.

In another study, Scientists from King’s College, London, found occasional pot use could actually improve concentration levels.

The study, carried in the American Journal of Epidemiology, tested the mental function and memory of nearly 9,000 Britons at age 50 and found that those who had used illegal drugs as recently as in their 40s did just as well, or slightly better, on the tests than peers who had never used drugs.

‘Overall, at the population level, the results seem to suggest that past or even current illicit drug use is not necessarily associated with impaired cognitive functioning in early middle age,’ said lead researcher Dr Alex Dregan.
Dr Dregan’s team used data on 8,992 42-year-olds participating in a UK national health study, who were asked if they had ever used any of 12 illegal drugs. Then, at the age of 50, they took standard tests of memory, attention and other cognitive abilities.

Overall, the study found, there was no evidence that current or past drug users had poorer mental performance. In fact, when current and past users were lumped together, their test scores tended to be higher.

The Age of Deception is Ending

In 2003, the U.S. Government as represented by the Department of Health and Human Services filed for, and was awarded a patent on cannabinoids. The reason? Because research into cannabinoids allowed pharmaceutical companies to acquire practical knowledge on one of the most powerful antioxidants and neuroprotectants known to the natural world.

The U.S. Patent 6630507 was specifically initiated when researchers found that cannabinoids had specific antioxidant properties making them useful in the treatment and prophylaxis of wide variety of oxidation associated diseases, such as ischemic, age-related, inflammatory and autoimmune diseases. The cannabinoids are found to have particular application as neuroprotectants, for example in limiting neurological damage following ischemic insults, such as stroke and trauma, or in the treatment of neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and HIV dementia. Nonpsychoactive cannabinoids, such as cannabidoil, are particularly advantageous to use because they avoid toxicity that is encountered with psychoactive cannabinoids at high doses useful in the method of the present invention.

In a historic and significant moment in American history, last November, Colorado became the first US state to legalize marijuana for recreational use. The impact of the decision could ripple across the entire country with vast opportunities to educate millions on the top health benefits of marijuana.

With the passage of I-502 in the 2012 Washington State election, marijuana also became legal in Washington–not just for medical use, but also for recreational use. Weed is still illegal as far as the United States government is concerned, but Washington and Colorado both have yet to figure out how that will work. It’s certain that this issue will continue to evolve and smooth out as time goes by, but the remaining states will eventually follow suit or be left behind with outdated laws.

Top Health Benefits

It’s no surprise that the United States has decreed that marijuana has no accepted medical use use and should remain classified as a highly dangerous drug like heroin. Accepting and promoting the powerful health benefits of marijuana would instantly cut huge profits geared towards cancer treatment and the U.S. would have to admit it imprisons the population for no cause. Nearly half of all drug arrests in the United States are for marijuana.

According to editor Richard Cowan, the answer is because it is a threat to cannabis prohibition “…there really is massive proof that the suppression of medical cannabis represents the greatest failure of the institutions of a free society, medicine, journalism, science, and our fundamental values,” Cowan notes.



The breaching of World of Warcraft: A Signed Open Letter to the President and Congress

wow elfWhen the biggest Internet companies agree on anything, that’s news. When the thing they agree on is taking a strong, direct, unequivocal stance against the federal government? That’s big news. And that’s what happened today.

The great eight
In a signed open letter to the president and congress posted to, AOL, Apple, Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Twitter, and Yahoo all called for Uncle Sam to put a leash on the NSA. Their requests are eminently reasonable.

The letter urges three huge reforms:

  1. Limits on data collection. That is, an end to the all-you-can-eat data buffet the NSA has been gorging itself on for the past decade. No more bulk data collection — if you suspect somebody of ill deeds, get a warrant, dammit.
  2. Actual oversight. In other words, let’s melt down the rubber stamp that’s been used to approve nearly every request ever made by the surveillance-industrial complex and replace it with a process that considers the possibility that maybe, just maybe, the spooks are overreaching. Essential to that is an adversarial process where someone represents the interests of the not-yet-accused-but-still-spied-upon parties in question.
  3. Transparency. Yeah, we know, they’re spies, what they do is secret. But the great eight are asking for the ability to reveal the breadth and depth of intelligence requests, so the public can gauge if it’s Spooks Gone Wild time again.

The letter also calls for international agreements regarding the free flow of information and mutual legal assistance treaties — which speaks as much to the behavior of repressive foreign governments as our own.

wow orcSome privacy wonks like Epic’s Marc Rotenberg have pointed out, however, that the companies putting their John and Jane Hancocks to this letter could help out a great deal by not collecting so much personal information or hanging on to it for so long, thus making it a less irresistible target for the spies. On that point, the letter is conveniently mum.

Did I say wow? I meant WOW
Meanwhile, the spook spying scandal gets more and more absurd. As the Guardian’s James Ball reports, the NSA and GCHQ weren’t content with tapping the phones of flesh-and-blood humans — they had to go into the virtual realm. In addition to the Googles, Facebooks, Verizons, and AT&Ts of the world, they targeted World of Warcraft, Second Life, and Xbox Live:

The agency’s impressive arsenal of cable taps and sophisticated hacking attacks was not enough. What it really needed was a horde of undercover Orcs.

That vision of spycraft sparked a concerted drive by the NSA and its UK sister agency GCHQ to infiltrate the massive communities playing online games, according to secret documents disclosed by whistleblower Edward Snowden.

Real-life agents have been deployed into virtual realms, from those Orc hordes in World of Warcraft to the human avatars of Second Life. There were attempts, too, to recruit potential informants from the games’ tech-friendly users.

Because if the terrorists attack the IBM Pavilion or Dell Island in Second Life, the loss of virtual life could be catastrophic. People might be forced to re-create their absurdly costumed, indeterminately gendered avatars. Oh, the inhumanity.

his is what happens when you give the kids an unlimited budget for toys and no adult supervision. In fact, as Ball notes, the spooks had to go out of their way to invent a reason to spend their days drinking demon blood and beheading goblins.

One problem the paper’s unnamed author and others in the agency faced in making their case — and avoiding suspicion that their goal was merely to play computer games at work without getting fired — was the difficulty of proving terrorists were even thinking about using games to communicate.

It was apparently a popular idea in the late 2000s, and not just with the NSA. All kinds of spy agencies decided to get in on the fun:

Meanwhile, the FBI, CIA, and the Defense Humint Service were all running human intelligence operations — undercover agents — within Second Life. In fact, so crowded were the virtual worlds with staff from the different agencies, that there was a need to try to “deconflict” their efforts — or, in other words, to make sure each agency wasn’t just duplicating what the others were doing.

Given how sparsely populated Second Life was at that time (and still is), it’s very likely the spooks were spending most of their virtual time spying on each other. Witness: Your tax dollars at work.

Apparently, there was at least one successful outcome to all this virtual role playing. The British secret service managed to crack a crime ring that was selling stolen credit cards inside Second Life: not global terrorism, not some vast dark cabal conspiring to destroy our freedoms, but run-of-the-mill cyber crime. This is why we let them eviscerate due process?

MMORPG monitors
I’m sure as more Snowden documents are revealed, our vision of how the spy complex operates is going to get even more absurd and Strangelovian. What’s next? If you discover you’ve been fined $10,000 for reckless driving in Grand Theft Auto, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

The only concept possibly more absurd than undercover Orcs is the notion that writing a letter to Congress and the president will do anything at all to rein in the NSA. I’m not convinced that even the great eight have much sway inside the beltway. The only thing that seems to talk there is money. Maybe it’s time to take the NSA’s toys away, or at least the tax dollars it uses to buy them.

This article, “Trolls, orcs, and spooks: The breaching of World of Warcraft,” was originally published at