Sleeping, sleeping and sleeping – Can’t stay awake.

For some reason over the last week or so, I have been unable to stay awake for more then 2-3 hours at a time. I suddenly feel exhausted, lay down and sleep for 2-3 hours. I don’t know if I’m making up for lost sleep in the past or my body has just had enough.

I was prescribed some new medication a few weeks ago for my osteoporosis, to help strengthen my bones again. Tho none of the side effects were drowsiness, I’m wondering if that has anything to do with it.  I’ll have to have a chat to the Doc, me thinks.

It feels good to be able to sleep, though to this extreme it’s not really helping me on the road to recovery… or is it… maybe it’s my body’s way of recovering.. who know’s.. time will tell I guess.

I’ll try and get back into the swing of things regarding my blog, I know I’ve been absent for some time. Life’s like that.

Dazz.

Neglecting Friends To Please A Lover – Bad Idea

Over the past few months I have pretty much left the internet alone and spent my time in the “real world”, trying to sort out this mess my life is in. But in doing that I’ve also neglected my friends, which not only do I feel guilty, but also lonely.. I’ve been here before.

In the past, I’ve lost many a friend due to rocky relationships, jealously and insecurities. I’ve pretty much locked myself out of the world to focus on just the relationship, but this is not a good way around things. At the end of the day, if the relationship doesn’t work out, you not only lose your partner, but, you’ve also lost your friends along the way. It’s not a nice place to end up, this I know first hand. … And, having a serious complex about myself, I find it hard enough to make friends as it is.

I think I’ve come to a point in life where I’m starting to care less if I’m alone while growing old. It just seems less chaotic. I know I have a lot of issues with past demons to contend with, maybe that’s just something I have to accept within myself. To be alone.

I was just thinking on what are the priorities when it comes to friends and relationship commitments. In this day and age, love doesn’t seem to last forever anymore, it’s more of a fad than a life long commitment. I feel so old fashioned in today’s way of life. I’m so lost…

I’m going to start doing what I think is right for me and not anyone else. Maybe it’ll give me a better outlook on life, time to take control of it again and not just let it slip between my fingers.

I want to openly apologize to my friends over the entire world and those beyond. I’m sorry for being AWOL for the past month. I’m sorry for ignoring messages and comments left for me. I will try and be around more often, if you’ll have me of-course.

 

Cheers, Dazz.

 

Lonely, yet not alone.

Have you ever felt lonely, yet around other people? It’s almost like you’re lost in an unknown world. I have been feeling this way for quite sometime now, it’s not a nice place to be.

I have noticed over the last couple of months that my thought process is heading downhill again, I feel very alone and insecure, not sure why I’m still living in this tormented life. The more I think about the things happening in my immediate life, the more I question just that. Why am I really here?. No I’m not gonna neck myself.. I just wish things would work out as I plan sometimes. I really wanted to make a new start this year, but new situations have held me back from some of the things I wanted to focus on. Life..

It’s been sometime since I’ve unloaded my thoughts and feelings on here, or anywhere for that fact, maybe that’s what’s wrong, I’m just too wound up. I have not seen my psychologist for close to 6 months now. I was told I’m “wasting the job networks resources” and should seek counseling through other means. I told them I’m not worth it from day one… Meh..