Over the past few months I have pretty much left the internet alone and spent my time in the “real world”, trying to sort out this mess my life is in. But in doing that I’ve also neglected my friends, which not only do I feel guilty, but also lonely.. I’ve been here before.
In the past, I’ve lost many a friend due to rocky relationships, jealously and insecurities. I’ve pretty much locked myself out of the world to focus on just the relationship, but this is not a good way around things. At the end of the day, if the relationship doesn’t work out, you not only lose your partner, but, you’ve also lost your friends along the way. It’s not a nice place to end up, this I know first hand. … And, having a serious complex about myself, I find it hard enough to make friends as it is.
I think I’ve come to a point in life where I’m starting to care less if I’m alone while growing old. It just seems less chaotic. I know I have a lot of issues with past demons to contend with, maybe that’s just something I have to accept within myself. To be alone.
I was just thinking on what are the priorities when it comes to friends and relationship commitments. In this day and age, love doesn’t seem to last forever anymore, it’s more of a fad than a life long commitment. I feel so old fashioned in today’s way of life. I’m so lost…
I’m going to start doing what I think is right for me and not anyone else. Maybe it’ll give me a better outlook on life, time to take control of it again and not just let it slip between my fingers.
I want to openly apologize to my friends over the entire world and those beyond. I’m sorry for being AWOL for the past month. I’m sorry for ignoring messages and comments left for me. I will try and be around more often, if you’ll have me of-course.